This was the first ultra of 3 I am running this year. Being so early in the calendar year it's the first for many. I ran it last year for which I done a race report if you scroll through the old posts. Comparing myself to last year to the date, I had ran almost double to the previous year, was running faster, feeling better than ever, plus almost a stone lighter in weight. So it was almost a guarantee to be a good race and a new PB for me. Except it wasn't.
Up until a fortnight ago I had never failed to finish a race. No matter what happened. I've finished a triathlon in which my chain snapped and I ran half the bike loop, I've cycled on in races using 1 leg when my pedal broke and fell off, ran while vomitting, and believe it or not, once ate a regurgitated meal to allow me the energy to finish when I really didn't feel like it.
I entered the glentress marathon which was on an amazing loop, off road over hills with great elevation all of which I love. I stopped after 1 lap. I used the excuse that the race started late, and if I had went out for the 2nd loop I'd have been struggling to make work on time. I could have ran faster or harder but I didn't. I just gave up. Quit. So a few days mulling about and I set my sights on d33.
Last year's time was 4:07 and this was easily beatable without much stress. Keeping an easy pace I should have bust 4 hours with ease. But I'm just not up for it. I am just not enjoying racing at all. Anyway I tried to talk myself into it and being up for it on race day, but as it drew closer I was looking for an excuse not to go. I briefly mentioned this at the running club and was told to man up/get a grip/go run well so off I went with the best intentions, helped by some kind words of how well I'm running at the minute.
Race day
4 bells and my alarm went off and I made the lonely trip up to Aberdeen. Arriving in good time I met some familiar faces and had a good catch up with jonny pritchard about the races we were doing this year.
9 o clock came and I set of at 7 min miles which I find really easy now, especially for a flat course on tarmac like this. I've done this in training and know I can run this pace for 30 miles without too much trouble. I was more of less this for the first half apart from a few toilet stops and reached the 16.5 mile halfway about 1:58 hours. I had planned to pick it up here and return a bit quicker so safely go under the 4 hours.
Although when I ran round the half way point the same thing happened as a fortnight ago. I gave up. I did go on and finish the race but I gave up in my mind. I was upwards of 8 and a half min miles in some places, and 1 mile I even stretched to an 11 min mile. This was not due.to fatigue at all. My legs were fresh. At 1 point I didn't see anyone behind me, so I stopped and walked and was waiting for someone to catch up with me. This is purely a motivation issue. I finished in 4:15, 8 minutes slower than last year. But that's the problem. I don't care. I'm not interested that I'm not racing well.
It's not that I'm not enjoying running. As soon as I got back in the door I wanted to go out running again. I'm loving training and I can't get enough of it. I hate a day when I'm not running and I don't feel right. So what's the problem? How do I get my mojo back and get that bit between my teeth that I used to have, even if it was racing someone up a set of stairs? I hate getting beaten. Except in recent months when it's not fussed me at all.
I've never been like this and I need to sort the issue quickly. I've a few ideas on how to sort it so only time will tell if they work. If not it will be a slow year for me.
Hopefully ill be back to it soon and get back to running well, and see what happens from there.
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